Correspondence of Hazrat Moulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb (rahimahullah)
Condition:
I find myself trapped in the destructive illness of backbiting. I make du‘aa to Allah Ta‘ala every morning saying: “O Allah! I must not commit any sin today, I must not backbite.” Yet I commit this sin by that same evening. I am very troubled. I read many ahaadeeth and many of your books on the topic of backbiting. Especially your book, “The illnesses of the soul and their treatment”. However this has had no effect on me. I manage to fear this sin for 2-3 days but then start committing it again. I am now backbiting more than ever since my sister-in-law has come into the house. I am very troubled and do not know how to save myself from this sin.
Answer:
Read my article “The rectification for backbiting” once daily. Think of the punishment for backbiting: Your good deeds will be given to the person about whom you engaged in backbiting. If your good deeds are insufficient, the person’s evil deeds will be recorded in your book of deeds. Think before you speak. If anyone starts backbiting, either stop them immediately or leave that assembly. Abstain from such company where there is the danger of backbiting taking place. In other words, do not unnecessarily meet people who engage in backbiting. If you meet them, agree beforehand that you are not going to engage in any backbiting. Sins are given up through courage, so take courage.
If you spoke ill of someone and the person came to know of it, it is necessary to obtain the person’s pardon. If the person did not come to know of it, you must acknowledge your mistake to those in whose presence you engaged in backbiting. Speak good of the person by saying: “The person about whom we spoke ill has many good qualities.” Send rewards for this person (eesaal-e-sawaab) and also seek forgiveness from Allah Ta‘ala.
By doing all this, insha-Allah the habit of backbiting will go away.
(Solutions to Spiritual Maladies for the Lovers of Allah Ta‘ala, pg. 353)