Abu ‘Uthmaan Sa‘eed bin Ismaa‘eel Al-Heeree (rahimahullah) was a great imaam, muhaddith, and ascetic and a mustajaabud du‘aa (i.e. a person who’s du‘aas are readily accepted by Allah Ta‘ala). He passed away in the year 289 A.H. (Siyaru Aa’laamin Nubalaa vol. 14, pg. 63)
His wife, Maryam, mentions that on one occasion she found herself alone with her husband. She took advantage of this opportunity to pose a question to him and asked, “O Abu ‘Uthmaan. (In) which action (of yours) do you have the most hope (of it been accepted in the court of Allah Ta‘ala?)”
In response to this question, Abu ‘Uthmaan (rahimahullah) explained that when he reached the prime of his life, whilst residing in Rayy (modern-day Tehran), people began encouraging him to get married. He nevertheless continued refusing and brushing the topic aside.
Finally, one day, a woman came to him and said, “O Abu ‘Uthmaan, my love for you is such that it has taken away my sleep and my rest. I beseech you by the One who is The Turner of hearts (i.e. Allah Ta‘ala) and I request you through His name to marry me.” Abu ‘Uthmaan (rahimahullah) asked her if her father was alive. She replied in the affirmative and informed him that her father was a tailor who resided in a certain place. Hence, Abu ‘Uthmaan (rahimahullah) sent a letter to the father asking him permission to marry his daughter.
The father was pleased with his proposal and Abu ‘Uthmaan (rahimahullah) got married to this woman. When he met her for the first time, he found that she was one-eyed, lame and deformed. His immediate response was, “O Allah, all praise is due to You for what You have decreed for me!”
Notwithstanding his family’s continuous criticism of his choice in marriage, he continued showing her more affection and love. Her love for him thus grew to such an extent that she could not bear being without him. Therefore, in order to please her and keep her heart happy, Abu ‘Uthmaan (rahimahullah) even stopped attending the gatherings which he used to attend. He remained with her in this condition for fifteen years. He recalls how difficult it was to bear patience in this condition saying, “At times, it was as if I was (sitting) on hot coal. However, I did not (verbally or physically) express any of this to her until she passed away.”
After relating this, he remarked, “Therefore, there is nothing that I have more hope in (of being accepted in the court of Allah Ta‘ala) than in my action of protecting whatever (love) was in her heart for me (by showing her the same love and not breaking her heart).”
(Taareekh Baghdaad vol. 10, pg. 145)
Lessons:
1. A key ingredient in any relationship is to always keep the next person’s heart. This becomes much more important in a marital relationship since it is one of the closest bonds. Despite the physical disorders of his wife along with the criticism of his family, Abu ‘Uthmaan (rahimahullah) continued showing her love and affection for fifteen years, in order not to hurt her heart. Hence, couples need to take inspiration from this amazing incident and learn to tolerate the odd flaw of their spouses and the occasional unpleasant experience that they may have.
2. “Ridhaa bil qadhaa” is the quality of being totally pleased with the Decree of Allah Ta‘ala no matter what condition He may place a person in. At the very first instance, Abu ‘Uthmaan (rahimahullah) demonstrated this very important quality that every believer should inculcate within himself, recognizing that Allah Ta‘ala’s decree is always just and wise, and that true happiness and fulfilment lies in submitting to His will.