The relationship of nikaah and marriage in Islam is indeed a most wonderful and amazing relationship. A man and woman are united through nikaah, and thereafter, they cooperate with one another in building a life and home for themselves and their children to come.
The husband shows his wife kindness, compassion and consideration, while the wife is subservient, obliging and obedient. Each of them happily and wholeheartedly makes some adjustments to their personal preferences, sacrificing some of their personal comfort in order to bring ease and show consideration to the other.
Allah Ta‘ala describes this beautiful relationship of nikaah in the Quraan Majeed saying, “And among His (i.e. Allah Ta‘ala’s) signs is that He has created for you partners from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them, and He has placed between you love and mercy.” (Surah Room v21)
When the relationship between the husband and wife is one flavoured with love and mercy, then we find that the husband and wife will care for each other and assist one another to improve themselves at all times.
If the husband’s business is going through a tough patch, she will willingly sacrifice her luxuries and comforts to assist him in tightening the purse strings to save money. If the husband is working late, she will patiently wait for his return, keeping the food warm until he gets home.
On the other hand, if the wife becomes ill and sick, the husband will not hesitate to pay for the very best medical treatment he can afford and will support her in every way he can until she recovers. If she is distraught and upset, he will let her cry on his shoulder, and thereafter give her words of comfort and support. If she is overwhelmed by some difficulty and speaks to him inappropriately, he will be tolerant and understanding and overlook her shortcoming.
In short, the husband and wife are always there for each other. Each regards the comfort, happiness and honour of the other to be their own comfort, happiness and honour.
However, this support and concern for the spouse should not be restricted and limited to the worldly aspects. Rather, when nikaah is flavoured with love and mercy, then the greatest love and mercy that one spouse can show the other is to assist him/her in drawing nearer to Allah Ta‘ala and earning Jannah.
Hence, in the blessed hadeeth, we find Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) making special du‘aa for the husband and wife who assist one another to wake up for Tahajjud salaah. (Sunan Abu Dawood #1308)
Therefore, the husband and wife should both continue to strive to bring Deen alive in their lives and in the home. If the wife sees that her husband is lazy to wake up and go to the masjid for the Fajr Salaah, then she should lovingly and gently wake him up, give him his car keys, remind him that the muazzin is calling him to success, and send him off for salaah. Likewise, if the husband sees that his wife has become slack in her daily recitation of the Quraan Majeed, then he should remind her, in a loving way, to once again resume her daily recitation.
If the husband has a fearsome temper, then the wife should assist to ‘cool him down’ and help him to restrain himself, thereby saving him from speaking or acting in anger and saving him from destroying his worldly life or his life of the Hereafter. If the wife has many qadhaa fasts to keep, the husband should remind her to keep them and support her in whatever way he can.
The crux of the issue is that the husband and wife should not only support each other in their worldly matters. Rather, it is more important that they support each other in their Deen – in acquiring the special proximity of Allah Ta‘ala and striving for Jannah. It is this effort that is most important, and will be of benefit to us on the Day of Qiyaamah when every one of us will be anxiously seeking entry into Jannah.