Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
Respected ‘Ulama
Recently I have been feeling proud over the blessings that Allah Ta‘ala has bestowed upon me. Despite knowing that everything I have is solely due to Allah Ta‘ala’s will and can be taken away by Him at an moment, I find myself looking down on those who don’t possess what I have.
Similarly, I struggle with feelings of jealousy when I see others enjoying things I don’t have.
Respected Moulana, please guide me on how to eradicate pride and jealousy from my heart and replace them with genuine love for Allah Ta‘ala.
Jazakallah
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
Respected Sister
1. Always remind yourself that it is not what you have externally in terms of material possessions that is of any real worth. While the permissible bounties are also purely the bounties of Allah Ta‘ala, what is of true worth and what really makes a person “valuable” is the inner values that he possesses.
The values of imaan, yaqeen (conviction), sabr (patience), shukr (gratitude), tawaadhu’ (humility), generosity, compassion, etc. are what make one worth something. Otherwise, if pride, jealousy, etc. are filled in the heart, then one can own the world but one will have little or no worth in the court of Allah Ta‘ala. It is reported in a hadeeth that Allah Ta‘ala does not look at your features or wealth, but looks at your heart and actions (Saheeh Muslim #6543). Therefore, regularly ponder over this and keep your heart clean.
2. When the negative thoughts come then do not dwell upon them. Make istighfaar in your heart and immediately turn your thoughts towards thinking about how much better than you the other person is, as he/she does not have pride and jealousy like you have. Also, immediately make du‘aa in your heart for the person, that Allah Ta‘ala bless them with the best of this world and the Hereafter.
3. Undertake the following to eradicate jealousy:
– Daily take the person’s name and make du‘aa for her that she be granted barakah (blessings), that she be protected from every calamity and disaster, that Allah Ta‘ala protects her honour and that she and her family be blessed with every good of this world and the next.
– Always be the first to make salaam to her.
– From time to time give her some gift even though it may be something of little monetary value.
– Occasionally invite her for a meal or tea.
May Allah Ta‘ala assist you.
Answered by:
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama