Sayyidah Saudah bintu Zam‘ah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was one of the honourable and respected wives of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). She had accepted Islam during the early days of Islam and possessed many noble qualities, such as excessive ‘ibaadah (worship), disinterest in the material world and a high level of piety. (Sharhuz Zurqaani vol. 4, pg. 377; Siyaru Aa’laamin Nubalaa vol. 2, pg. 265 and Al-Bidaayah wan Nihaayah vol. 8, pg. 239)
Initially, Sayyidah Saudah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was married to her father’s cousin, Sayyiduna Sakraan bin ‘Amr (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) and was blessed with one son from him, Sayyiduna ‘Abdur Rahmaan (radhiyallahu ‘anhu). When the persecution of the Quraish became unbearable for the Muslims in Makkah Mukarramah, they were granted permission to migrate to Abyssinia. Thus, Sayyidah Saudah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) and her husband, Sayyiduna Sakraan (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), undertook the second migration to Abyssinia in order to escape the torture and persecution of the disbelievers and practice Islam freely. Shortly after returning to Makkah Mukarramah, Sayyiduna Sakraan (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) passed away. (Sharhuz Zurqaani vol. 4, pg. 377)
While her husband was still alive, Sayyidah Saudah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) once saw a dream in which Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) came to her and placed his blessed foot on her neck. When she related this dream to her husband, he exclaimed, “If your dream is true, I will pass away and Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) will marry you.” Thereafter, she saw another dream in which she was lying down and the moon fell on her from the sky. She thus related this dream to her husband who responded saying, “If your dream is true, I will not live for long and you will thereafter remarry.” That very day, Sayyiduna Sakraan (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) fell ill and he passed away shortly thereafter. (Tabaqaat Ibni Sa’d vol. 8, pg. 56)
After Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) passed away, Sayyidah Khawlah bintu Hakeem (radhiyallahu ‘anha), the wife of Sayyiduna ‘Uthmaan bin Maz‘oon (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), came to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and said, “O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)! It seems that there is a void in your life due to the demise of Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha).” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) replied, “Yes (definitely), (since) she was the mother of the family and the caretaker of the home.” She then enquired whether she should propose on his behalf, to which Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) replied, “Yes indeed, for you women are more suitable for that (i.e. to send a marriage proposal).” (Tabaqaat Ibni Sa’d vol. 8, pg. 57)
Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then enquired as to who she had in mind. Before answering the question, she asked, “Do you wish (to marry) a virgin or a woman who was previously married (i.e. a widow or a divorcee)?” In response to this, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) asked, “Who is the virgin?” She replied, “The daughter of the most beloved of the creation of Allah Ta‘ala to you – ‘Aaishah, the daughter of Abu Bakr (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma).” When Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) next enquired, “And who is the one who was married previously?”, she responded, “Saudah bintu Zam‘ah (radhiyallahu ‘anha). She has brought imaan in you and followed you in that which you say.” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) instructed Sayyidah Khawlah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) to take the matter forward and discuss it with them.
Sayyidah Khawlah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) first went to the home of Sayyiduna Abu Bakr (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) and informed them of the proposal. They happily agreed and eventually got Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) married to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam).
She then proceeded to the house of Sayyidah Saudah (radhiyallahu ‘anha). When she entered, she exclaimed, “What blessings and goodness has Allah Ta‘ala brought upon you!” Sayyidah Saudah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) enquired about the reason for this to which she responded, “Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has sent me to propose for you on his behalf.” Sayyidah Saudah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) expressed her happiness to marry Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) but asked her to first approach her father and discuss the matter with him.
Her father, who was advanced in age at that time, also expressed his happiness at this proposal and mentioned to her that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) was a noble match for his daughter. He further enquired from Sayyidah Khawlah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) as to what his daughter feels about this proposal. Sayyidah Khawlah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) replied that she is delighted by it. He then summoned his daughter and personally asked her if she wished to marry Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) to which she responded in the affirmative. Thereafter he called for Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and got her married to him.
Her brother, ‘Abd bin Zam‘ah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), who had not yet accepted Islam at that time, returned home and found out that his sister got married to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). Expressing his disappointment, he threw sand over his head. However, when he later accepted Islam, he said, “I take an oath. I was indeed foolish on the day when I threw sand over my head because Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) married (my sister) Saudah bintu Zam‘ah (radhiyallahu ‘anha).” (Musnad Ahmad #25769)
Although the historians differ whether the nikaah of Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) or the nikaah of Sayyidah Saudah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was performed first, they are in agreement that Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) did not go to live with Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) immediately. Hence, it was Sayyidah Saudah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) who was the first wife to live with Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) after Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) and to take care of his home and children. (Sharhuz Zurqaani vol. 4, pg. 378) Furthermore, she enjoyed the privilege of having Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) exclusively to herself for more than three years!
Lessons:
1. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) responding that Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was the mother of the family and the caretaker of the home, very clearly explains the role that Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) played in the home. This is in total contrast to the misconception which is created that she was a business woman. It further explains the role that every woman should be playing in her home.
2. Finding suitable and compatible matches for the unmarried is a role that is best suited for mature and experienced elders, more especially women. When young people take this into their own hands and find their own partners, the possibility of marital problems later on is far greater, as is evident from the soaring divorce rates presently witnessed. Hence, despite Sayyidah Saudah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) being a widow and a mother as well, and despite her father being so aged, she still referred Sayyidah Khawlah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) to him.
3. Although the elders should be arranging the marriage, they must not force the juniors to marry against their wish and desire. Rather, they must consult with them and ensure that they are also happy with the prospective spouse, as the father of Sayyidah Saudah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) had done.