Should I Attend?

Question:

Assalaamu alaikum

Respected Panel of Ulema

I recently purchased a ticket to a program in Durban. This program is hosted by the … Institute. A broadcast has been going around to refrain from attending this program as it is by Salafies and they will destroy our imaan. I don’t know if this is true as most of these broadcasts are baseless although one can never be too sure.

If Moulana can advise whether I should attend or not, or if there is any truth in it?

Jazakallah

Answer:

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Respected Sister

Your question is extremely important and very relevant, since recently there are various programs, courses, lectures, tafseer and Arabic classes being offered, many of which are being offered by Salafis*. Often people are confused whether they should be attending or not.

The approach to be adopted in order to overcome this confusion could be understood from a simple example of our health. When it comes to our health and choosing a doctor, generally we look at two things:

1. What is the success rate of the doctor? Do most of his patients benefit, through the will of Allah Ta‘ala, by means of his treatment or not?

2. Do other experienced doctors recommend him and approve of him or not? It takes a doctor to realise the worth of another doctor. We are not acquainted with the medical field, so we will not be able to recognise the true worth of a doctor.

Likewise we must consider the same two aspects for our spiritual health when attending the program of any speaker, organisation or institute. We will firstly look at their success rate. If generally those who frequent their programs and lessons are moving away from the correct understanding of deen and are becoming liberal in their ways, or they are no more as committed to deen as they were before, then this is an alarm bell to stay away from such programs and speakers. Secondly, one must consider what do the senior, pious and experienced ‘Ulama in our area have to say about such persons or organisations. If they approve of them, then insha-Allah we will benefit. If they generally disapprove, we are indeed placing our imaan at risk by attending such programs.

There have been many reports of those attending such programs becoming liberal in their stance on certain deeni issues. They also generally lose respect for the past and present learned scholars.

Apart from this deeni risk, many marriages have been affected and some have even broken after the wife started attending such programs. The reason for this is that there is no strict segregation between males and females in many of these events. The men sit at the front and women at the back without any screen in between. If there is a screen between the audience, the instructor or shaikh still has full view of the females and they can likewise see him.

Our panel of ‘Ulama have already handled 3 marital cases of this nature. In one case, the wife insisted on chatting with two of her instructors at the expense of her marriage, which then only lasted for six months. In another case, the husband very clearly says, “All our problems began once my wife started attending a certain tafseer and Arabic class.” He even caught her chatting with a youngster, many years younger than her, who also attends the classes.

Besides these, there are many other cases.

One sister says: “I was a sister who didn’t know I was in love with a student of knowledge. After I married I was upset that I did not like my marriage, I just finished my divorce … I vow now never to look another lecturer in the eye. It takes a broken marriage to realize.”

A brother writes: “I made some mistakes in the marriage, but my spouse’s delusional ideas about how a Muslim man should be (perfect, based on some celebrity shuyukh) led her to constantly judge and abuse me to no end — always comparing me to other men and constantly mistrusting me because I did not fulfill the “perfect” model presented in books and lectures. No matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough for her. She eventually left our home unhappy with our marriage. A month or so later, we initiated the divorce. It was an extremely painful situation for me. We weren’t even married for a full year. And I cannot help but feel resentment for organizations like … for giving her this sort of mentality and not seeking to correct it. To this day I still attend these lectures and see this sort of behavior among sisters. It’s disgusting and needs correction. It’s destroying marriages at home by putting these shuyukh on a pedestal and giving women an excuse to abuse and look down on their husbands.”

This should be enough for us to realize the seriousness of the issue and the deeni and worldly devastating effects of adopting a casual attitude regarding attending such programs.

While we may have the desire to learn deen, we need to realize that deen MUST be acquired in a manner that deen approves of. Having the correct intention is not sufficient. It needs to be complimented with the correct method as well.

The great Taabi‘ee Muhammad ibnu Sireen (rahimahullah) would say: “This knowledge is your deen. So be careful from who you acquire your deen.” (Saheeh Muslim)

May Allah Ta‘ala enable us to protect our imaan in these trying times, aameen.